Ahh, Fortnite. If you know what that word means, then you haven’t seen your kids in a year. Okay, I won’t lie. I was actually the first person in the family to even play Fortnite. It looked interesting, and then I saw that the multiplayer was going to be free, so I downloaded it as soon as it became available. And I hated it. And deleted it. Five different times. But eventually, I got used to the style of gameplay, and even let the big kids start playing. Finally, we got Beth roped in, although she will probably deny that. Anyway, it took over the gaming world last year, and is still rolling strong. But you might not really know much about it, so here we are to the rescue. This Durrr Burger recipe is your chance to look like the greatest parent ever, if only for a minute. (See what I did there?)
Please note, this post is going to be crammed full of Fortnite references. I do not apologize.
Durrr Burger Recipe
What, exactly, is a Durrr Burger? It’s only the premiere fast food chain in Fortnite, that is what it is. You can see the mascot on a hill toward the northern section of the island. It’s in D3, if you simply must know. Anyway, the mascot is an anthropomorphic hamburger with a face. Kind of. If all this is Greek to you, then that part is the only thing you really need to know. So you can make your own Durrr Burgers at home, and have a Fortnite dinner party! Or birthday party. Just set up the burger bar, let them play Fortnite, and you are the greatest.
- Whatever you need to make your favorite hamburgers. I’ll be posting my favorite hamburger recipe soon, and this post will be updated to reflect that change and direct you to it. It’s delicious. Once you try it, you’ll be Raven about it for sure.
- Tomato (beefsteak, or another big, round type, as opposed to Roma.)
- Pre-sliced cheese. Cheddar. (If you use American, I will never speak to you again.)
- Bacon (again, thicker is better.)
- Buns. Duh. Or should I say, Durrr?
- Mozzarella salad pearls
- Black olives
- Green (pimento) olives
Make your Durrr!
Okay, make your burgers whatever kind of way. Wider, flatter patties are preferable. Cook your bacon. The way I did it: place a foil sheet on a cookie pan with edges. Lay bacon out flat on top of it. Lay another foil sheet on top. Place another pan on top of that. Set oven to 350, and cook it for a few minutes. Check it periodically, until it’s almost done. This is going to be the tongue, so you don’t want it quite crispy. That would cause a Calamity. It should be flat and still pliable. Slice your black olives into rings, then cut those rings into 8 pieces, for the pupils. Cut your mozzarella pearls in half, for the whites of the eyes. Slice the tomato, get your cheese ready, toast/grill the buns, put all of this on a serving tray or something. Now it’s time to Drift on over to the table and let your kids build their own Durrr Burgers!
For a proper one you want: bun, bacon, tomato, cheese, patty, bun. The bacon should be long enough to poke out of the burger and hang off the front. Next, make the eyes. I used a toothpick, broken in half, to hold the eyes together.
However, the kids just stuck theirs on the burger, sans toothpick, and they held up okay. You decide the amount of work you want to put in. Spear a green olive on another toothpick, and garnish. Make like you have a quad launcher cause Boom! You’re done!
So we rift on a couple of ideas for things to go along with these. There are all sorts of complicated things you can do on Pinterest. And you know how we love complicated things here. Not at all. So get those squeezable Kool Aid bottles, (blue) and some marshmallows. (Not pictured, cause I didn’t think about it until we were ready to eat.) The blue kool aids are slurp juice, from the game. You don’t need a fancy printable; just tell your kids “hey, it’s a slurp juice.” Put a couple Marshmellos on their plate, and they couldn’t be Happier. And there you have it. You are the coolest parent ever*. Your kids will Storm in to eat their Fortnite dinner.
*Not actually. parents are never cool.