Another rift zone has opened up on the Season X Fortnite map, and classic location Greasy Grove has returned, to universal praise and positivity. Ha ha! This is not true. Nothing in Fortnite garners universal praise and positivity. Epic could just mail a $100 bill to each and every player, for no reason, and some people would still complain. But backhanded criticism of an overly-entitled player base aside, the return of Greasy is pretty cool. And it has a new feature where everyone in the area periodically starts dancing and waving tacos around. Don’t ask, I don’t even know. The important thing is, it gave us yet another Fortnite-inspired recipe to create. We are pleased to bring you our Fortnite taco recipe, inspired by the game.
Actually, I DO want to taco bout it
Okay, so if you really want an authentic Fortnite taco, you have a bit of a problem. Or, an opportunity. You see, the taco pictured on top of the TACOS building and the one that comprises the head of the accompanying Guaco skin are slightly different. So picky eaters are nacho problem, and you can still be faithful. It’s a win/win! (And 5000 people are immediately going to tweet Epic, complaining about this.) Anyway, it’s not too complicated. If you’ve made our Durrr Burgers, you already know the basics.
- Hamburger meat
- Refried beans
- Taco seasoning
- Shredded lettuce (we used cilantro, because we prefer it)
- Jalapeno slices
- Shredded cheese
- Nacho-style cheese
- Mozzarella pearls
- Canned black olives
Prepare your ingredients
Okay, so cook the beef without the seasoning. I’m gonna show you a way to up your taco game, here. When the beef is cooked, do the following: drain it, put it back in the pan, add the refried beans, and add the seasoning. Now cook all this together just a bit, stirring a lot. At the end, you have this awesome beef/bean combination that tastes great, and can go on just about any Mexican-inspired dish. Then cube your tomatoes. Just slice that joker up, cut through the piece in one direction, all the way across, then rotate it 90° and slice again:
How to handcraft your artisan street tacos
Yeah, so none of that makes any sense, nor does it mean anything. I’m just trying to get Google to like me. Anyway, like I said, there are two distinct variants. The Guaco taco takes the following ingredients, bottom to top. Meat/beans, nacho cheese, guacamole and jalapeno slices, shredded cheese, and tomatoes.
The taco shop variety is slightly different. Meat, lettuce, cheese, tomato.
Really, as long as you have brown, green, yellow with red chunks, you are good. Any combination of these ingredients will look the part. For example, as a Wisconsin boy, I detest any fake cheeses, nacho “cheese” included. So I just skipped it. Simple. Then add your eyes. Since writing the Durrr Burger post, I have whole-heartedly adopted the kids’ method of just sticking the olive bit to the mozzarella pearl. The toothpick is really unnecessary. If you aren’t sure what any of this means, just keep reading.
How to make food eyes
Yes, that’s the weirdest subheading I have ever typed. Anyway, it’s pretty easy. Just slice up a black olive into rings. One should be plenty. Then cut each ring roughly into cubes. Then stick one cube to a mozzarella pearl. Put this on your taco. Repeat, because there’s no such thing as a cyclops taco.
No, you can’t just make that into a thing. Don’t be silly.
There you go, your very own Fortnite taco. And of course, don’t forget to have your kids, or you, use the creator code Jimmymoog in the item shop. Or at the Epic store.